Day 2 Of DDD: Sewage Workers Filtering Millions Of Gallons Of Semen From Surrounding City Pipes

Within the first 48hrs of DDD we mourned the loss of a fallen nut soldier and now we have the city spending millions to keep our water clean while thousands of frogs are turning gay or becoming pregnant.

National Association of Clean Water Agencies, formerly named: Association of Metropolitan Sewerage Agencies, has been working tirelessly to treat and sanitize the water we drink everyday but with all the nut juice it has proven difficult.

JWC Environmental,Muffin Monster,Monster Industrial,IPEC

For more than four decades, the National Association of Clean Water Agencies (NACWA) has been the nation’s recognized leader in legislative, regulatory and legal advocacy on the full spectrum of clean water issues, as well as a top technical resource for water management, sustainability and ecosystem protection interests.

NACWA represents public wastewater and stormwater agencies of all sizes nationwide. The Association’s unique and growing network strengthens the advocacy voice for all member utilities, and ensures they have the tools necessary to provide affordable and sustainable clean water for all.

A spokesman for NACWA, Mark Lahey says, “The reports just keep piling up. It’s incredible the amount of semen that has spiked over night since December 1st. All these Libs without jobs just jackin off all day while the rest of us have to work to clean it up. Ridiculous.”

We were informed about the overwhelming number of wildlife this crisis has effected as well.

“People crankin off in condoms because it feels awesome, flushing them down the toilet and then fish or crayfish are finding themselves trapped in the latex transparency. I listen to a lot of Alex Jones so I’m beginning to understand his views on how frogs are being effected. Males are having brosex all over the place.”

We will stay updated on the effects throughout the month.

*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.

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