Your Laptop F.B.I. Guy Has Missed You Since The Government Shutdown

The United States Government has reached day 21 of the shutdown and already your assigned F.B.I. agent misses you and wants to see you.

Since the government has been shutdown your F.B.I. agent hasn’t been working or able to watch your online activity and he’s growing depressed.

People from all around the North American Continent have been receiving texts from their F.B.I. guy telling them he misses them and just wishes this whole shutdown would end.


Incognito Mode has hit a record low in user activity since the shutdown because no one is being paid to monitor what you’re doing.

“As soon as the Democrats start working for the country and not out of spite for our POTUS we can move forward and I can help my I.P. kid lose his virginity. I’m hoping he already has, we were so close before the shutdown. I have no confidence that he made progress without me.” Said Officer James Campbell of the N.S.A./F.B.I. Online Bureau.

We will keep you updated on this story throughout the months ahead.

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