New study shows drivers of lifted trucks have larger-than-average-sized genitalia

It’s not Extenze. It’s not Viagra. It’s a giant, ridiculous-looking truck that truly makes a difference in the size of your man’s love rod.

According to a new study by Alabama State University, owners of large trucks have larger-than-average penises compared to the rest of the population. The study also disproved the theory that pickup truck drivers are overcompensating for a small pocket rocket.

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The study was performed by simply asking 50 truck drivers how large their pp’s were. That number was averaged and then compared to the national average. As you can see, the numbers are hard to argue:

“According to Science Magazine, the average erect male penis is 5.16 inches long. The truck drivers in our study had an average penis size of 16.5 inches. Not a single one of them claimed to have a penis less than a foot long.” -head of science things at Alabama State University

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The study also showed that drivers owning a pair of truck nuts had even larger tallywhacker’s than the rest of the truck drivers.

And drivers that had the popular “shocker” bumper stickers on the back of their 4×4’s? Forget about it…

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There was also a strong correlation between pp size and how high the truck was lifted off the ground. For example, the owner of this truck? Ginormous schlong.

So next time you aren’t feeling well endowed in the nether regions, maybe stop by your local Ford or Chevy dealer instead of wasting your money on pp pills.

Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.

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