A Private Company Is Funding A New Chemical To Turn The Gay Frogs Back To Straight

Way back in the year 2015, Alex Jones went on a rant which included a theory that the government has been putting chemicals in the water that “turn the friggin’ frogs gay”. Flash forward to 2019 – an innovative company called GayBeNot has broke ground on a chemical to turn those gay frogs straight.

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Founder and CEO of GayBeNot Bob Barenboim made one thing very clear when announcing the project last week – he isn’t against homosexuality in humans, frogs, or any creatures for that matter.

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“I want to clear up a misunderstanding. We believe in freedom of choice when it comes to the frog’s sexual orientation. However, as Alex Jones correctly pointed out, these frogs didn’t choose to be gay in the first place. It was the chemicals. We are simply correcting the wrongdoings of the government by making the frogs heterosexual again. After we change them, they can do whatever they want with their frog parts.” – CEO of GayBeNot

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Another employee leaked information that the company is also working implementing a scared straight program for any frogs that are having trouble transitioning to a straight lifestyle after being gay for the last several years.

Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.

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