Gays Are Utilizing The Power Of Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mist Into Homes

“You’re” mom might actually be gay after these new reports surfaced. According to the website Reading Republican, homosexuals have been utilizing the power of windmills to spray gay mist all across the United States and into the homes of millions of Americans.

The history of the windmill dates back to the 4th century where it was invented by the Greek engineer “Hero of Alexandria” (sounds like a pretty gay name to me). He used the windmill to power various machines (gay machines, probably).

Read MoreNew Study Shows That Breathing Air Is LinkedTo Staying Alive

Today, windmills are used to generate electricity. The use of windmills for this purpose has continued to increase throughout the last 20 years and they now produce around 500 gigawatts of power a year.

Many scientists believe the increase in electricity production and the increase in homosexuality are positively correlated, leading to the theory that homosexuals are funding the “gay mist windmill project” to not only make people more accepting of gays, but also to turn the entire country gay.

Read MoreRocks Are Actually Soft and Squishy – They Just Tense Up When We Touch Them

According to the ambassador of Intelligence and Knowledge, there are several wealthy investors that have put their money into the project because they are secretly gay. He believes that 96% of executives are “at least a little gay”.

Read MoreBirds Are Drones And The Power Lines Are Actually Charging Stations

If this is true, it helps explain the overall acceptance of homosexuality that has reverberated throughout the US as well as other countries in the last decade. If you’re walking down the street and you suddenly feel a little gayer than usual, it’s probably because you’re close to a windmill. You’ve been hit with what scientists are calling “the essence of homosexuality”.

*cover image and original story from Reading Republican

Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.

4 thoughts on “Gays Are Utilizing The Power Of Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mist Into Homes

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: