Ant-Man Recovering From A Severe Case Of Pink-Eye After Failed Attempt To Crawl Up Thanos’ Ass

As we all know by now, Ant-Man didn’t actually crawl up Thanos’ ass and expand in order to kill him in the last installment of Avengers. Or did he?

According to a deleted scene discovered in the depths of the Internet, Ant-Man can be seen attempting to crawl up Thanos’ ass. However, he got stuck in a spot where he was not able to expand.

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An anonymous cast member witnessed the event and claims he was stuck in there for at least two hours. With very little air and a whole lot of fecal matter surrounding him, he contracted a serious case of pink-eye.

“Poor guy. I can’t imagine being up there for a minute, let alone 2 hours. It must have been so scary.” – anonymous cast member of Avengers: Endgame

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Hospital records were discovered and show that he has spent over 3 weeks in the hospital. He was in the ICU for 10 days before being released to a regular care unit. Doctors say it was touch-and-go for a few days and initially gave him a 10% chance of surviving. They now expect him to make a full recovery.

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I think we can all agree that it’s a good thing he survived. It would be a real shame to see everyone’s 27th favorite superhero die.

Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.

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