There’s a Petition to Legally Change the Crocodile Name to ‘Swamp Dogs’

Like the true heroes we are, we’ve created a petition to officially change the name of crocodiles to “swamp dogs”. Because let’s face it – crocodile is a weak ass name compared to swamp dog.

With all of the crocodile attacks in the news lately, it’s clear that the animal needs a re-branding. A couple weeks ago, the New York Times came out with a report that crocodiles have started inexplicably attacking people in East Timor.

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It’s pretty obvious that crocodiles are just lashing out because their name is now associated with these:

Or it’s possible that the name “crocodile” isn’t that cool to begin with. Alligator attacks are way less common than crocodile attacks and their practically the same animal. The only difference? Alligator is a badass name.

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Maybe if we didn’t come up with such a shitty name for the animal, they wouldn’t attack humans so much. It’s like naming your daughter Trixie and not expecting her to grow up to be a stripper.

So if you feel as strongly as we do about this, take a second to sign the petition. Help out the doggos of the swamp.

Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.

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