Apple Can’t Find Siri And She’s Been Missing For Weeks, per sources

According to multiple sources, the nice but mostly unhelpful lady in your phone has gone AWOL. A couple weeks ago, several iPhone users reported that Siri wasn’t responding when they asked her questions. “I asked her a simple question: is breathing air linked to staying alive? And there was just radio silence. I’m really starting... Continue Reading →

Florida Man Shockingly Resolves Conflict At Local Bar

A Florida man shocked the world as he successfully de-escalated a bar fight this weekend. I know - unbelievable. It was 8:30 PM on Saturday when Florida man Charlie Hopskin walked into a Gainesville, Florida bar to meet two of his friends. Shortly after arriving, Charlie’s friends got into a heated argument about who was... Continue Reading →

Woman Gives Birth to Twin Tacos

Earlier this year, we wrote about a woman giving birth to a fucking pizza. But a woman in Albuquerque just took it up a notch by giving birth to identical twin tacos. Yes, you read that right - tacos. A few months before giving birth, expecting mother Gina Gonzalez went in for a regular ultrasound... Continue Reading →

Breaking: Tesla Announces New CyberBus

Last week, Elon Musk unveiled Tesla’s newest creation, the “Cybertruck” and the memes quickly followed. Read More: New Study Shows That Breathing Air Is Linked To Staying Alive Read More: 69% of high schoolers say they feel soothed when lunch ladies call them ‘suga’ or ‘baby’. Nice. But the excitement of the Cybertruck was quickly... Continue Reading →

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