Coronavirus Was Invented By Toilet Paper Companies To Get You To Buy More.

How does it feel to be wiping your ass with corruption? You've heard them before. Conspiracists with claims ranging from 'big pharma' to the illuminati are the ones really in control of everything.Improbable? Likely. Impossible? Maybe.What if we told you that the toilet paper companies are the ones behind the Coronavirus spread?Unlikely? Not at all.... Continue Reading →

Breaking News: Coronavirus has not claimed Nickelback.

Their two fans are reported, ecstatic. Sources have confirmed that all surviving Nickelback members, remain unscathed from the Coronavirus; only causality confirmed has been their imprint onto the music industry - sources confirmed. Since there's nothing more to report on the subject, Nickelback jokes are provided below to help make for any lost hope. Nickelback,... Continue Reading →

Coming Soon To Theatres: The Facebook

Next epic romantic saga in "White People Almost Kissing In The Rain". Take notes, Nicholas Sparks because your romance mediocrity is about to be outmatched! Yes, the rumors are true that have been virally sweeping the web by storm - The Facebook's happening! Woken News Network has got your first look at it. Official leaked... Continue Reading →

Area 51 Meme Is Now A Video Game On Steam

Seriously. Storm Area 51: September 20th 2019 is the game's official title and yes, it's real. According to the game's official Steam page: Survive the epic raid on Area 51 and rescue the aliens from the military compound using classic stealth mechanics and cover. It’s 3am, September 20th, 2019…. join the millions planning to storm... Continue Reading →

Euthanasia clinics in the Netherlands are going out of business as millennials are “literally dying”.

Dead. 💀💀💀 Dutch doctors are facing financial hardships with changing trends of social media among youth. Medical doctor Eva van Waeerden gives her recount of the change. "(Dutch) euthanasia market grew when the adolescents switched to using expressions such as 'kill me,' but the market made it big when suicide pact parties and family euthanasia... Continue Reading →

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